The coffee shop burned down because the Sun is 5,778 Kelvin.
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
Well that’s a clean joke, right?
People in my neighborhood are kinda savage so we all just laughed. Seriously though it was a low bar, he was wearing sweats, the fabric at the bottom got caught and he just went flailing around smacking his face and arms on the pavement. I don’t think I ever saw him get up..
Jared proceeds to rob and kill the employees.
The two drunks guys are stunned at what they witness.
Jared kills them too.
They had a pleasant conversation and left satisfied with these dealings.
A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check….
He marched up to the counter and said,
“Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare! I’d really rather have a job.. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing!”
The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”
“Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say,but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”
The social worker said, “Yeah, well…
You started it.” …..
A guy walked into a bar, it hurt
The bartend said “HOLY FUCK!” and shot it in the face with a shotgun
He said, “Straight?”
I said, “Yeah. So don’t get any ideas, pal.”