officer jokes

A police officer pulls over a woman for speeding… (good old #4032)

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…And they have the following exchange?

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I stole this car.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the trunk?!

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.

The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.

The driver indeed owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

It turns out the trunk is empty.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

2017-08-14T21:54:41+00:00 14.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

An Officer is on patrol in L.A.

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When he sees a driver fail to stop at a Stop sign.
He chases after the guy and pulls him over.

Officer: “Sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Driver: “No.”
Officer: “You failed to stop at the Stop sign back there.”
Driver: “I slowed down, what’s the big difference?”

The Officer drags the man out of his car, pulls out his baton and starts beating the shit out of him while yelling:
“DO YOU WANT ME TO SLOW DOWN OR STOP?”

2017-07-31T00:56:38+00:00 31.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , |0 Comments

A young first officer asks his Captain

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A young first officer asks his Captain,
“Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don’t seem to be getting better at flying?”

And the Captain patiently answers: “Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?”

“Yes, my sir, I have.”

“And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?”

“Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it.”

“Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?”

“Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon.”

“That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft.”

2017-07-27T21:20:23+00:00 27.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.

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The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters”
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;
“Alright officer, we’ll do it”

2017-07-15T08:24:57+00:00 15.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments
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