“- I don’t know, go ask your father.”
Her face really lit up when she opened it.
something about waiting until he’s born?…
Daughter: Mom I got a new boyfriend, our neighbour Joe.
Mom: But he could be your father!
Daughter: Age is not that important to me.
Mom: That’s not what I was talking about…
I just got a call from the hospital. Your mom is dead. I’m so so sorry.
My mom was a teenage mother, she adopted my when she was 16.
He points at her crotch and exclaims, “What’s that!?”
She quickly says, “Oh that’s where daddy hit me with the axe.”
Johnny replies, “Pretty good shot, he got you right in the cunt.”
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. “What’s the deal?” he asks. His mom says ” You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you.” Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says “Do you want me to tell him or should you?”