lost jokes

As I get older and remember all the people I lost among the way

1

I think about how I’ll go one day too. I’ve struggled so much, endured so many hardships only to realize it doesn’t matter now. Maybe I should’ve made an effort to be happier, but does it really matter now? I’m just going to die anyway, just like them. Maybe I’ll never come up with an answer, but it won’t matter soon enough.

2017-08-18T06:45:22+00:00 18.8.2017|Categories: bad jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

A man lost in a hot-air balloon.

32

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, “Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must be in management.”

“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.” 

2017-08-13T03:32:47+00:00 13.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

A lost dog strays into a jungle.

30

A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution “this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”. So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace.

The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly “mmm…that was some good lion meat!”. The lion abruptly stops and says ” woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can”.

Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily “get on my back, we’ll get him together”. So they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts “where the hell is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…”

2017-07-30T09:14:13+00:00 30.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

…And That’s When I Lost It.

12

I rear-ended a midget the other day with my car. I didn’t know he was a midget when I ran into him. I got out to apologize, expecting a normal size driver, and when I saw the midget climb out of his car and start walking back toward me with his grumpy face, I just about lost it. I can’t help it, I laugh when I’m nervous, and he just looked so funny marching back toward me.

 

So anyways, I’m doing everything I can to avoid cracking up because I know it’s only going to make it worse if I start laughing at him after I’ve already dented his car. Well he looks at me with a very stern face and he can tell I’m not taking him very seriously.

 

“There’s nothing funny about this.” He said.

 

“I know.” I replied.

 

“I’m not happy.” He stated.

 

“Well then which one are you?”

2017-07-19T07:02:27+00:00 19.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: |0 Comments
Load More Posts