local jokes

A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check….

17

He marched up to the counter and said,
“Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare! I’d really rather have a job.. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing!”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”

“Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say,but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well…
You started it.” …..

2017-08-02T05:38:22+00:00 2.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque.

25

He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bull-shittin’ me!”
The social worker said, “Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “

2017-07-11T09:48:08+00:00 11.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

An old lady goes up to the help counter at her local electronics store clutching a jar of marmalade.

4

“I found this in my pantry,” she says, “and I’m wondering if it will work. You see? I’ve strained out all the peel.”

“Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” says the geek working the desk.

“The last time I was here,” she replies, “you told me that when my printer says LOAD LETTER, it’s asking for more paper. Well now it’s demanding I give it CLEAR JAM.”

2017-07-05T07:54:44+00:00 5.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments
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