late jokes

A wife comes home late one night…

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From the covers on the bed, she spots the outline of four legs instead of her husband’s two. She reaches into their closet for a baseball bat and starts hitting the two under the covers as hard as she can.

Once she’s done,she heads down to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters the kitchen, she sees her husband there at the counter reading a magazine. He says to her, *”Hi honey, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”*

2017-07-28T14:58:05+00:00 28.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

A cop is patrolling make out point late one night…..

15

He is used to chasing teenagers out of there who are having sex so when he spotted a car there late he wasn’t surprised.

He turns on the lights and walks up to the car only to find a young man sitting in the front seat and a young woman in the back seat reading a magazine.

Shocked at the “lack of action” he starts questioning the young man and asks for his ID. The ID says he is 22 so the officer asks how old the girl is in the back…

The young man looks at his watch and says “in about 20 minutes she will be 18″…

2017-07-17T15:23:23+00:00 17.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Late night push

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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. “Hi there,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push??”

“No, get lost! It’s half past three. I was in bed,” says the man and he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, “That wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”

“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband. “It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.”

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the front door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?” And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.” So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”

And the drunk replies, “Over here, on the swing.”

2017-07-05T21:18:24+00:00 5.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , |0 Comments
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