A man arrives in hell after having just been murderd by his wife for cheating on her with over a thousand other women.
The Devil arrives and greets the man. He tells him “as the one millionth arrival this month you get to pick the Hell in which you shall live out eternity. You will be shown five individual hells and you must chose one”.
The Devil leads the man to the individual hell chambers. At the first one the door opens into a chamber where an old, withered looking man is chain naked, spreadeagle to a wall and in front of him is a machine spitting acid globs at him, burning him slowly forever. The Devil waits for a moment then closes the door…”Next!” he says.
At the next chamber the door opens up to reveal a similar scene as the first; an old withered looking man is chained, naked and spread eagle to the wall but this time there is no acid spitting machine. Instead in this one oil is being poured onto the mans head in a slow steady stream, running into his eyes and covering his nose and mouth periodically. By the look in his eye this is clearly tortuous so and the man shivers and looks away…”Next!” The Devil says and then move on.
The 3rd chamber opens to a similar scene, an old man chained to the wall, naked and spreadeagled. There is no acid machine or oil here but instead, to the man’s surprise, there is a beautiful tanned blonde lady, naked, sitting at the chained up old mans feet giving him a blowjob. Unsurprisingly the guy chained up looks rather happy with his lot in hell.
The man at the door stares in disbelief and immediately says “This one”.
The Devil turns to him and says “Are you sure? This is the third of five. There are others from which you may choose.”
“I’m sure” says the man.
“OK” says the Devil who then turns back to the chamber and says “OK Lady, you’re done here. We’ve got a replacement for you”.