We will, we will rock you!
I was at a party the other day waiting to get some punch, and a couple of people in front of me in line were talking and realized they had a mutual love for Simon and Garfunkel, so they burst into an impromptu harmony of “Bridge over Troubled Water”. They nailed it, too. The whole party ended up applauding them.
When I heard you could donate your sperm by post I came in a jiffy!
Nothing, she just broke down and cried.
I yelled back, “I know the whole alphabet.” Everyone laughed. Well, except this one guy.
I heard burning a single drop of lavender oil in the palm of your hand wards off superstition.
What a great singer
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and a half.” The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, “Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.”
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, “So, where does he go when he leaves?”
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “Your house!”
I just heard this today and haven’t seen it here so it’s been posted before, sorry!
I heard this great anecdote about sea turtles the other day…