guy jokes

A guy walks into a bar and orders 3 beers.

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The bartender pours them for him. He then takes equal sips from each beer and proceeds to do so until all glasses are empty. He pays and leaves. He does this every day for a week before the bartender decides to ask what that’s all about.

“Why do you come in and order three beers, and then take equal sips from them until they are empty?” Asks the bartender. The guy replies “well, I’ve got three brothers. We used to meet up every evening for a beer, but they had to move out of town. So we’ve decided that each of us will drink three beers every day, one for each of us.”

The bartenders curiosity is sated. The guy continues to do this for about a month, until he comes in one day and orders only two beers.

“I’m sorry for your loss”, says the bartender.

The guy is confused, and then says “oh no, nobody died. I just quit drinking.”

2017-08-19T17:45:00+00:00 19.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”

2017-08-19T15:55:33+00:00 19.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

A guy walks into a bar and orders six Jägermeister shots

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The bartender asks him if it’s a special occasion?
The guy answers “Yes, my very first blowjob”.
The bartender gets excited and says “Congratulations, I’ll give you the seventh shot on the house”.
The guy answers “Nah, if six Jäger shots isn’t enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference”.

2017-08-18T16:39:25+00:00 18.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

An Italian guy, a Polish guy, and a Japanese guy all apply for a job at an office.

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The manager hires all three and tells the Italian, “Ok, you take care of the inventory”. Tells the Polish guy, “You take care of accounting” and tells the Japanese guy, “You take care of supplies.”

The manager comes back after an hour and sees the Italian guy and the Polish guy working, but he can’t find the Japanese guy anywhere. So all of them start looking for him.

After hours of searching, they still can’t find him so they give up and turn to go home for the evening when suddenly, the Japanese guy jumps out of nowhere and screams “SUPPLIES!!!!”…

2017-08-16T17:18:05+00:00 16.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments
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