front jokes

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

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The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him

2017-08-19T15:34:31+00:00 19.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard

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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?”
His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.”
“Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!”
“What do you mean?” said Dad.
“Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”

2017-08-11T20:01:18+00:00 11.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check….

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He marched up to the counter and said,
“Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare! I’d really rather have a job.. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing!”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”

“Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say,but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well…
You started it.” …..

2017-08-02T05:38:22+00:00 2.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Two boys knock on a farmer’s front door …

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One of the boys says, “Sir, we noticed you have a big field full of honeysuckle and we wondered if we could go get some honey.”

The farmer replied, “Well, boys, you’re welcome to try but you know you can’t get honey from honey suckle, right?”

“Just give us a shot!” they suggested. They returned and had 3 buckets of honey.

The farmer couldn’t believe it!

While the boys were going after the honeysuckle they noticed the farmer also had a large field full of buttercups so they asked, “Would you mind if we got some butter from that field?”

The farmer replied, “You boys know you can’t get butter from buttercups, right?

“Just give us a shot!”

Low and behold they came back with quite a load of butter and the farmer couldn’t believe it.

Later on after lunch, they came back to the farmer’s house and said “Sir, we noticed you had some pussywillow over in…”

The farmer cut the boys off and said, “Hold on, boys! Let me get my hat!”

2017-07-25T00:29:15+00:00 25.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments
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