driving jokes

A trucker is driving his rig at night


He’s on the phone to one of his mates. At one point he asks:

“Fred, what would you say is the height of the largest type of penguin?”

“That’s a really weird question Tom, but I guess around 120cm”

“Ah… are you sure? Not tall as say, a human?”

“I wouldn’t say so Tom, seems pretty unlikely”

“Ah, shit… I guess I just ran over a Nun then..”

2017-08-20T16:49:22+00:00 20.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

A college professor is driving home drunk one Saturday night….


When he gets pulled over. The cop comes up to his window and asks him:

“Excuse me sir, you were speeding, you ran a red light and you appear to be drunk, where are you going?”

The professor replies: “I am currently on my way to a lecture concerning the dangers of drinking, smoking and staying up late.”

The police officer says: “Who could possibly be giving that kind of lecture at this time?”

The professor responds: “My wife.”

2017-07-27T22:54:35+00:00 27.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

A man and a woman were driving down the road


A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over, slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car.

Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 8 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.

Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, “What in the heck was that?!?”

Not wanting to expose his sweet daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, “It was only a fly, honey.”

The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. “I’m surprised it got off the ground with a dick that big!”

2017-07-27T15:10:27+00:00 27.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

A guy is driving down the highway when he suddenly has an overwhelming urge to jerk off…


But there are so many cars and trucks driving by, he’s too scared to be seen if he does it in the vehicle. So he gets out of the truck and crawls underneath. He figures if anyone comes along, he’ll just say he’s checking on his transmission. He pulls out his dick, closes his eyes, pictures Betty-Sue naked, and starts beating off.

A few minutes later a state trooper comes along and kicks his foot.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing down there, son?”

“I’m just checking my transmission!” the guy says.

“Well, you should have checked your brakes. Your truck rolled down the hill.”

2017-07-17T20:28:52+00:00 17.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments
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