doctor jokes

Chinese doctor in the US

26

An Chinese Doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

A American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic…

Lawyer : “I have lost my sense of taste”

Chinese doctor : “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth”

Lawyer : “Ugh..this is kerosene”

Chinese doctor : “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20”

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money…

Lawyer : “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything”

Chinese doctor : “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth”

Lawyer (annoyed) : “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”

Chinese doctor : “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20”

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer : “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all ”

Chinese doctor : “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100”

Lawyer (staring at the bill) : “But this is $20, not $100”

Chinese doctor : “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”

2017-08-19T22:25:37+00:00 19.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , |0 Comments

I went to the doctor today…

14

He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostrate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, “Very interesting….You have got to stop masturbating.” I asked why, he said, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

2017-08-13T18:50:20+00:00 13.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , |0 Comments

A farmer travels to the nearest town to see the doctor.

35

The doctor diagnoses the farmer and hands him a jar of pills, explaining, “these are suppositories, take one a day for a month.”

The farmer thanks the doctor, adding, “Doc, I’m not an educated man. What is a sup-pos-it-ory?”

The doctor humbly answers, “they’re just like any pill, except you take them rectally.”

“Oh, I see,” the farmer ponders, “but I’ve gotta wreck what now?”

Maintaining professionalism, the doctor clarifies, “you insert them in your anus.”

Still confused, the man asks, “my ayy-nu—,” letting a little frustration show, the doctor interjects with, “just put them in your backside.”

Determined to get everything right, the farmer replies, “Doc, I think there’s a misunderstanding, it’s not my back that hurts.”

Overcome by frustration, the doctor yells at the farmer, “TAKE THE PILLS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!!”

The farmer sheepishly replies, “I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Doc. I’ll just ask someone else.”

2017-08-11T14:51:07+00:00 11.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments
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