day jokes

One day, a man from Minnesota decided to move down to Texas to follow his dream of becoming a train conductor.

27

On his first day on the job, he had brought a book with him to read. The book he brought to read was very interesting. So interesting, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention and accidentally hit an old lady on the train tracks.

The next day, he appeared in court.

The judge said to him: “Now, I don’t know how things work up in Minnesota, but down here in the great state of Texas, you aren’t allowed to run over old ladies on the train tracks.”

And so she sentenced him to death by the electric chair.

The next day he was taken to the executioners office, and he strapped him in, and pulled the switch.

And nothing happened.

And so the executioner said to him: “Now, I don’t know how things work up in Minnesota, but down here in the great state of Texas, if the electric chair doesn’t kill you, you are to be freed.”

And so the next day he went back to work. This time, he brought a different book to read. However, this book was very boring, and it put him to sleep. He was sleeping so deeply, he didn’t realize what was going on and accidentally hit a small child on the train tracks.

The next day, he appeared in court.

The judge said to him: “Now, I don’t know how things work up in Minnesota, but down here in the great state of Texas, you aren’t allowed to run over small children on the train tracks.”

And so she sentenced him to death by the electric chair.

The next day he was taken to the executioners office, and he strapped him in, and pulled the switch.

And nothing happened.

And so the executioner said to him: “Now, I don’t know how things work up in Minnesota, but down here in the great state of Texas, if the electric chair doesn’t kill you, you are to be freed.”

And so, he once again walked free. He went back to work, and instead of bringing a book, he brought a paddle ball to play with. However, as he was playing with it, it hit him in the head, knocking him out. Because of this, he couldn’t stop the train as it hit the mayor on the train tracks.

The next day, he appeared in court.

The judge said to him: “Now, I don’t know how things work up in Minnesota, but down here in the great state of Texas, you aren’t allowed to run over the mayor on the train tracks.”

And so she sentenced him to death by the electric chair.

The next day he was taken to the executioners office, and he strapped him in, and pulled the switch.

And nothing happened.

And finally, the executioner turned and said to him: “I don’t understand, why is it still not working?”

The man looked at him and said:

“I guess I’m just a bad conductor.”

2017-08-16T03:45:42+00:00 16.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

One day, a violent husband leaves his wife.

18

She posts an ad in a local newspaper: “Looking for a new man. The one who will not beat me, run away, and is good in bed.”
Couple of days later someone knocks on her door. She opens them, and there’s a guy in a wheelchair, missing both arms and legs.
“Hi. I think I’m a perfect man for you. I don’t have arms, so I can’t beat you, and because I have no legs, I can’t run away.”
“But are you good in bed?” she asks.
He just smiles and says: “Well how do you think I knocked?”

2017-08-09T11:14:27+00:00 9.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments
Load More Posts