dad jokes

So a dad is fed up with his son lying to him…

19

Dad: (brings home lie detector) so son, what did you do today?

Son: I went to school

(Beep)

Son: fine, I went to my friends house.

Dad: what did you do at your friends house?

Son: we watched a movie

Dad: what kind of movie?

Son: A Disney film

(Beep)

Son: Ok fine we watched an r rated movie

Dad: Holy crap, even I wasn’t exposed to that kind of material when I was a kid

(Beep)

(Everyone looks at the dad)

Mom: Well, he’s your son

(BEEP)

2017-08-20T06:15:00+00:00 20.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

New dad.

2

A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!”

2017-08-12T02:28:26+00:00 12.8.2017|Categories: Clean jokes|Tags: |0 Comments

A joke my dad told me

12

Five men went out to the woods to gather some berries.
After they finished gathering they didnt know if the berries were poisonous or not.
So they decided to give one to the dog to see what would happen.
As soon as the dog ate the berry it ran inte the forest and one of them was told to run after it to see what would happen.
The man and the dog were away for a long time and the others started to get impatient and hungry so they started eating the berries anyway.
When the man came back they asked him what happened to the dog, and he told them it died.
They all panicked and spit out the berries.
But then the man that ran after the dog started to eat the berries himself.
They were all confused and asked him why he was eating the berries if the dog died from them.
And he responded “Well the dog got run over by a car’.

2017-08-06T14:01:55+00:00 6.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , |0 Comments
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