bitch jokes

Son of a Bitch

16

Girl: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

Priest: “What have you done, my child?”

Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”

Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”

Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
(after a few minutes)

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “But father, he had herpes!”

Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

Edit: Spacing

2017-08-08T07:41:39+00:00 8.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , |0 Comments

Addition’s a son of a bitch

12

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.”

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”

The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework.”

” And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked. “Yes,” he answered.

Infuriated, the mother goes to Little Johnny’s school the next day and confronted the teacher, “What are you teaching my son?”

The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.” The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four? Because that’s what little Johnny keeps saying. He must have learnt it at school, since I don’t teach addition at home!”

After the teacher stopped laughing, she replied, “Let me show you what we are teaching at our school. Then you can decide where he is learning the phrase from.”

The teacher takes Johnny’s mother into the classroom, where the kids are clearly saying,”two plus two, the sum of which is four.”

2017-08-06T17:40:26+00:00 6.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , |0 Comments
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