birthday jokes

My lesbian neighbours asked what I wanted for my birthday. I replied I wanna watch!

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The next day they invited me into their house where they quickly stripped naked and started to make out. She turns to me and says “well feel free to watch”
To which I reply “GODDAMNIT Susan I want a watch that tells time, seriously every year you do this! I’m constantly late to places and Its started to affect my life”

2017-08-09T04:10:49+00:00 9.8.2017|Categories: bad jokes|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments

For my birthday, my girlfriend said I could either have a Rolex or a threesome.

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Both sound cool in theory, but a Rolex is expensive and there’s no way I would be able to please 2 women when I can barely last 30 seconds with my girlfriend. I’d get too nervous. But at the same time my girlfriend’s best friend Aimee is really fucking hot.

After my birthday dinner my girlfriend told me “Aimee is on the way and she’s really horny. I’m getting horny too. Are you ready to fuck both of us?”

I said “No, I just wanna watch.”

2017-08-07T21:37:15+00:00 7.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , |0 Comments
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