and i think tonight I will go to the same bar again
A Zionist, an Isis member, an alt-right member, an antifa member, Kim Jung Un, and Donald Trump all walk into a bar
But they were all different bars serving the appropriate cleintele and with a great deal of space and time between them–so there was no bloodshed and everything went fine.
The bartender: Sorry you’re underage, I can’t serve you alcohol
The weasel: That’s alright, I’m not looking for anything alcoholic
The bartender: Oh alright, well we have coffee, tea, smoothies, milkshakes, pop
“Soda” goes the weasel
He comes home with a headache.
The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.
Naturally, the Korean man goes “What was that for?”
The Jewish man responds, “That was for Pearl Harbor.”
“Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese,” says the Korean man.
“Ah, Korean, Chinese, Japanese — you guys are all the same.”
Looking not to argue, they part ways.
Later in the night, the Korean man walks up to the Jewish man, and punches him in the face as well.
“Okay, okay, I get it — that’s fair. I punched you, you punched me, but what was that for?”
“That was for the titanic,” says the Korean man.
“The Titanic? That was an iceberg.”
“Yeah — Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceberg. You’re all the same.”
I came home from the bar four hours late last night. “Where the hell have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you” I said, “This isn’t our house anymore.”
The bartender says, “I’m sorry. I can’t serve underage weasels.”
The weasel says, “That’s fine. I don’t need something alcoholic. What else do you have?”
The bartender says “Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
…and an hour later comes out all drunk and stumbling, with a black-eye, a torn shirt and the owner shouting after him because he was caught drinking too much which he was not supposed to do at all because he was the bartender.
His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.