Cause I sure as hell don’t.
An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard. He sits down and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, “Going to a party?”
“Yeah, a costume party,” the man answers, “I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.”
“But you look like Abe Lincoln,” protests the bartender.
“That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”
The bar is totally unprepared and there are lots of security issues.
and says “Five beers, please.”
The bartender recognizes him as a regular but surprisingly he has a huge orange head.
“what the hell happened?” he asks.
“well I found a magic lamp on vacation and the genie inside gave me 3 wishes.”
The bartender’s eyes go wide.
“yep, my first wish was for twenty million dollars and bam! it was in my bank account. Then I wished to meet the love of my life, and the bam! I met my wife.”
The bartender laughed, “wow so those both sound great. What happened next?”
“well, for my third wish – and here’s where I think I messed up – I wished for a huge orange head”.
he lacks talent.
they each order a shot of whiskey, neat. This gains the attention of 3 guys nearby, and they each pair off neatly. They enjoy the rest of the evening.
He says: “give me a beer please”. Good thing he’s just dyslexic but can speak fine.
Because he had enough to drink for the night and was ready to go back home to his family.