Asks jokes

A young man meets a beautiful girl and asks her out on a date.

24

He is surprised when she says yes, and they decide to go out that
Saturday. So the young man goes home, and spends the remainder
of the week agonizing over what to do on their date. Should they go
to dinner? A movie? Roller skating? Skydiving? Maybe go on a big
game hunt? He has no idea. Finally Saturday comes, and as he is
driving over to pick her up, he notices a sign saying that the Big Top
is in town. He immediately knows that’s where they need to go.

So he picks up his date, radiant as ever, and they head to the Circus.

She’s incredibly excited, as she hasn’t been since she was a child.
They buy cotton candy, popcorn, peanuts, big drinks, and make their
way to the front row, where he managed to get tickets. The two
watch in amazement as the dancing horses come out, followed by
bears balancing on large rubber balls, then the elephants. They watch in trepidation as the lion tamer whips and yells at the lion, as the trapeze artists fly to and fro. They watch delightedly as finally the clowns make their way to the center of the ring. They bound about acrobatically, juggle while riding the unicycle, and joke with the crowd. The head clown notices the young man in the front row with the beautiful girl, and comes strolling over.

As he motions for the attention of the crowd, he leans toward the young man and says:

“Hey mister, are you the horse’s head?”

And the young man replies “Well…no”

So the head clown says, “Well that must make you the horse’s ass!”
The whole tent erupts with laughter at the young man, who is
absolutely humiliated. Even his date is laughing. He tries to hide his
anger, and pretends it doesn’t bother him. But he spends the rest of
the evening fuming over the joke. He barely even notices that his
date kisses him good night when he drops her off.

That night, the young man is unable to sleep. Lying in bed, he can
think of nothing other than the clown. Why didn’t he say something?
Why didn’t he stand up for himself? He has no answers, and finally
falls asleep, dreaming of destroying the clown.

The next morning, the young man wakes up with a deep sense of purpose. Never in his life has he felt such drive. He will dedicate his life to getting back at the clown. He heads out the door, and
immediately enrolls in university, majoring in Comebackology.

The young man gives his classes everything he’s got. He quickly
rises to the top of his class, a star pupil. He wows his professors
during finals, and is even crowned Valedictorian upon graduation,
receiving his Bachelor of Science in Comebackology.

But he doesn’t feel ready. So he redoubles his efforts, and goes back
to school, continuing to impress the faculty. After an amazingly quick
year, he is awarded his Master’s Degree in Comebackology, the
fastest it has ever been awarded. […]

2017-08-18T07:59:28+00:00 18.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse…

1

“I need a horse, but I’m short on cash. What can I get for $25?” the cowboy asks the owner.

“Well, for fifteen I can give you ‘ol Bill. He’s seen a few years but he’s still a fast horse” replies the owner.

“Why so cheap then?”

“Well, he ain’t so good at listening. You see, he gets his Whoas and Giddy-ups mixed-up.”

“You’re kidding? Well, I don’t have much choice. Here’s $15, friend.”

After he’d payed for the horse the owner went out to the stable to get Bill. When he came back, the cowboy could see that Bill was indeed old, but had very strong legs. After preparing the saddle, the cowboy hopped on Bill.

“Alright, Bill. Giddy-up!”

Bill would not move, not a twitch from his ears.

“C’mon Bill! Giddy-up!” he clicked, kicking the horse with his spurs.

Bill wouldn’t budge. Not a swish from his tail. Remembering what the owner had said, the cowboy adjusted his reins and called…

“Whoa, Bill!”

Bill’s ears perked, and he flew out of the barn like a bat out of hell. Horse and rider were outside the town in seconds, with a huge dust cloud trailing behind them. Off they went, flying over the Arizona hills. The cowboy could barely hold on to his reins; his feet flailing out behind the stirrups.

Over the next hill the cowboy could see that Bill was running them straight towards the edge of the Grand Canyon. He pulled back on the reins.

“Whoa, Bill! Whoa!” he cried.

Bill kept running. The edge of the precipice coming closer.

“Whoa, Bill! Stop, damn it!”

He suddenly recalled what the owner had said about Bill’s mixed-up directions. Taking a deep breath the cowboy closed his eyes and shouted “Giddy-up, Bill!”

Bill came to an abruptly fast stop, just one horse-step away from certain death. The cowboy nearly vaulted over Bill into the vast gorge. Bill panted with exhaustion while the cowboy wiped his brow with his kerchief. From atop Bill, he looked down into the canyon at the dry riverbed far below.

“Whoa, Bill. That was close”

Fortunately, Bill was a horse and knew better than to run off a cliff, and so the cowboy’s ill-considered use of the word woah in this context had no negative repercussions.

2017-08-16T09:39:05+00:00 16.8.2017|Categories: bad jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse…

22

“I need a horse, but I’m short on cash. What can I get for $25?” the cowboy asks the owner.

“Well, for fifteen I can give you ‘ol Bill. He’s seen a few years but he’s still a fast horse” replies the owner.

“Why so cheap then?”

“Well, he ain’t so good at listening. You see, he gets his Whoas and Giddy-ups mixed-up.”

“You’re kidding? Well, I don’t have much choice. Here’s $15, friend.”

After he’d payed for the horse the owner went out to the stable to get Bill. When he came back, the cowboy could see that Bill was indeed old, but had very strong legs. After preparing the saddle, the cowboy hopped on Bill.

“Alright, Bill. Giddy-up!”

Bill would not move, not a twitch from his ears.

“C’mon Bill! Giddy-up!” he clicked, kicking the horse with his spurs.

Bill wouldn’t budge. Not a swish from his tail. Remembering what the owner had said, the cowboy adjusted his reins and called…

“Whoa, Bill!”

Bill’s ears perked, and he flew out of the barn like a bat out of hell. Horse and rider were outside the town in seconds, with a huge dust cloud trailing behind them. Off they went, flying over the Arizona hills. The cowboy could barely hold on to his reins; his feet flailing out behind the stirrups.

Over the next hill the cowboy could see that Bill was running them straight towards the edge of the Grand Canyon. He pulled back on the reins.

“Whoa, Bill! Whoa!” he cried.

Bill kept running. The edge of the precipice coming closer.

“Whoa, Bill! Stop, damn it!”

He suddenly recalled what the owner had said about Bill’s mixed-up directions. Taking a deep breath the cowboy closed his eyes and shouted “Giddy-up, Bill!”

Bill came to an abruptly fast stop, just one horse-step away from certain death. The cowboy nearly vaulted over Bill into the vast gorge. Bill panted with exhaustion while the cowboy wiped his brow with his kerchief. From atop Bill, he looked down into the canyon at the dry riverbed far below.

“Whoa, Bill. That was *clo–*

2017-08-16T02:30:03+00:00 16.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments
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