She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
A couple having sex in the bedroom asked their son to stand on the balcony to keep him occupied and keep telling them what’s going on outside.
Son: John is buying fruits, Tina is playing and Michael is fucking his wife.
Dad: What? Is he doing it openly?
Son: No, I haven’t seen him but his son is also standing in the balcony.
I SAID MAYBE
She said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
“In HD” was apparently the wrong answer.
I replied, “I don’t even see them on the menu. What page are you on?”
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read, “My God,” said the Queen, “I’m pregnant. I wonder whose it is?”
Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?
Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.
Alien 1 Oh boy… That’s pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.
Alien 2 Nah, their not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.
A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He answered, “Call for backup.”
I told her they came in handy.