American jokes

A tired American solider


An American solider serving in WWII had just returned from intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted the R&R and was on a train bound London. The train was very crowded, so the solider walked the length of the train looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was adjacent to a well dressed middle age woman and was being used by her little dog.

The solider asked, “Please, ma’am, May I sit in that seat?”

The English woman looked at him, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my little Fifi is using that seat?”

The solider walked away, determined to find a place to rest. After another trip down the train, he found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, “Please, Lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans. Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The solider didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the dog and tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty space.

The woman shrieked, demanded that someone defend her and chastise the solider.

Suddenly, an English Gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, Sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.”

“And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window!”

2017-08-06T12:12:50+00:00 6.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , |0 Comments

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American


She shares the joys of being a part of the greatest country in the world, and asks her students to raise their hands if they are or want to be American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

“Because I am not an American.” says Kristen

“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”

“I’m a proud Canadian,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

“Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too.” The teacher is now angry.

“That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be an American.”

2017-08-04T10:02:02+00:00 4.8.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

A Chinese, American, German, and Syrian are on a train


They’re all looking out of the window.

The Chinese trying to show off throws a bag of rice out of the window, “We have a lot of rice”.

The American grabs a bunch of dollar bills and throws them out, “WE have a lot of money”.

The Syrian tells the German glaring at him, “what the fuck are you thinking!”

2017-07-11T12:37:26+00:00 11.7.2017|Categories: jokes|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments
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