You oscillate its tit a lot.
Last time I take a nap with brownies in the oven.
She said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
I’m so glad they dug it up just in time
It was the worst postcard I’ve ever received.
He’s on the phone to one of his mates. At one point he asks:
“Fred, what would you say is the height of the largest type of penguin?”
“That’s a really weird question Tom, but I guess around 120cm”
“Ah… are you sure? Not tall as say, a human?”
“I wouldn’t say so Tom, seems pretty unlikely”
“Ah, shit… I guess I just ran over a Nun then..”
A lot of them have a very short fuse.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. “Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house. “Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock”. The wife glanced down at his shoes and said “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”
Because it’s the scenter.
Me : This is my girlfriend janine
Janine : Hi
Wife : What the fuck