and i think tonight I will go to the same bar again
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Please stop hitting me daddy T.T
One. Or two, if it requires a ladder and the floor is uneven, and one guy needs to hold the ladder.
Ask me the secret to comedy
A Zionist, an Isis member, an alt-right member, an antifa member, Kim Jung Un, and Donald Trump all walk into a bar
But they were all different bars serving the appropriate cleintele and with a great deal of space and time between them–so there was no bloodshed and everything went fine.
Beer? Goes the weasel
No, goes the Moon
Rum? Goes the weasel
No, goes the Sun
Gin? Goes the weasel
NO! IT’S POP GOES THE WEASEL YOU DOORKNOB, goes the Sun and Moon in unison
Obviously not the U.S. Navy.
Dad: “Because it was the first thing that fell on her after she was born”
Kid: “Thank you dad”
Dad: “I’m not your father you’re adopted”
They would get wet